Guilt Trips & Psychic Vampires

We all have them and I’m not talking about Guilt Trips. I’m talking about those friends who pull the “Guilt Trip Trick” to manipulate you into doing what they want.  You could even sling them in the same barrel as Psychic Vampires.  These people are lovely most of the time but for some reason they have underlying ulterior motives and seem to feed off your energy.  The truly sad part about it, is that many of these vampiric people have no idea what they are doing!

You end up telling them your deepest, darkest secrets but despite you giving them your all they suddenly turn on you.  Without a clue as to what is wrong, they make you feel so guilty and bad that you do your utmost to patch things up, even when they do things that hurt you, you ignore it .. but hey, woe betide if you EVER happen to do anything that might upset them!  The cycle continues and each time they hit you with that curve ball, not only does it take you by surprise it actually hurts you deep emotionally but you always end up forgiving them because they are a ” really nice” person and they “didn’t mean it”.

Why do we do it? Why do we stand for these kinds of friends?  I am going through a phase at the moment in which I have become psychically detached for a short while.  The presence of Retrograde Mercury has helped me tenfold in actually being able to listen to myself and my own life more – I honestly cannot remember the last time I felt so grounded and I hope you can also feel this energy!

I have heard so many stories over the years of people giving away things they treasure to friends but not knowing why, or deep secrets that were told in confidence that were later made so public the individual actually lost their job, or a friend who needed a place to stay but ended up taking over the whole home for months on end and even leaving all their dirty washing up … or the most common story as I am sure most of us have experienced – lending money and never getting it back!   We have to act upon this display of arrogance and lack of respect and cut our ties with these vampiric people. They are no good for our souls nor our well being.

As we go through life we meet up with people for various reasons, some friendships come and go in a flash but you probably needed each other at that time, other friendships last a lifetime… some you might think will last forever just either fizzle out or come to an end for whatever reason.

Don’t be dragged down by others feeding off your emotions. Don’t be manipulated into thinking you are the bad guy and don’t for one second believe the psycho-babble that a lot of these so-called friends do to keep you on their “good” side.  A perfect tell tale sign is after you have said your goodbyes, you will most likely get a ton of abuse or a long sob story (both manipulative).

Sometimes it’s simply a part of growth, you have to be able to recognise psychic vampires and learn to let them go, cut them out your life so they can no longer feed off you. It’s all too easy for us to keep things the way they are as it is “comfortable” and “less hassle” or perhaps you are manipulated into feeling sorry for them, or even bribed in some way?  Whatever the reason, eventually you must take action to free yourself from these people. If you take no action they will just continue to feed from you and not only can your energy deplete, your health could even suffer.

Taking action can seem hard and sometimes hurtful, however, remember the old saying you can’t make a cake without breaking eggs. Similar thing in clearing yourself of Psychic Vampires, it’s being pro active and doing something for your own highest good – you don’t need to sit there and take it, you don’t need to feel guilty either, these manipulative people are no better than you, so don’t give them any reason to believe they are.

Move onwards and upwards!

3 thoughts on “Guilt Trips & Psychic Vampires

  1. Spookypig

    Very good article Sands. I have a friend who I love dearly but it took me a while to realise she was Toxic. Most of the time she is supportive but every so often she seems to drip poison, casting doubt on who I am or what I do. I don’t mean that she just plays Devil’s Advocate rather than agreeing to everything I say or do but she seems to take great delight in turning something around into something bad.

    I’ve come to the conclusion that she does this whenever she wants to feel good about her self, or her situation. The only way she can do this is to make me or my situation look worse than it is. Then when I am down or upset about her pronouncements she then seems to revel in being the one who is ‘there for me’ or the one who ‘really understands’. It isn’t to make you feel better. It is done to make *them* feel better.

    Now that I understand her I can stop her from being my Toxic Friend. I can prevent her from hurting me because I know what she is doing and why she is doing it. Because I have taken her ‘power’ away I can now enjoy her friendship on my terms. As soon as she becomes too much I know I shall have to terminate the friendship, for my own sanity and well being.

    These decisions are hard but in the long run you have to accept that maybe the friendship has just run its course and hanging onto it will only sour it.

  2. Nancy Stefanski

    I have learned a lot about my own dark side, from my psychic vampire. I believe every person is here for a reason. That they are a reflection of current cultural conditions. No aliens here.

    I am grateful for my experience, and that is all I have to give my vampire. She showed me MY vampiric tendencies. I believe that if anyone thinks they don’t have such tendencies, they will never be free from guilt.

    I am very stern with her about my standards-what I want from her. And I am very patient, as these goals may never be met through each other or perhaps in this lifetime.

    I am much better at walking away from her, or even telling her what I don’t deserve, telling HER to go away. I am not inclined to ask her for help at this point in her development as a human being, as I am not so ignorant of the abuse she’s shown me in the past.

    But, we are all creatures of the Universe, born to a particular share of the message. By whatever name we give to evil and good, it’s ALL a part of each one of us, and should not be placed solely on the head of another.

    With these beliefs in mind, I seem to have been as toxic to her as she is to me. I’m pretty sure the only thing we are destroying in each other is our egos. But, I’m still very young (age 43).

  3. Lea

    This is such a great article Sandy. I sent this to my son, who just left here yesterday to start over in another state.

    There is so much truth to what you say here and I hope he will see himself when he reads it. He had a few good friends here, but most were what you describe. I think he was beginning to “feel” this when he decided to leave…a conclusion that he probably does not fully understand as of yet.

    He is an empath and has been taken advantage of. It is not easy watching a soft hearted person be treated this way, especially when it is your child.

    I am so thankful that I am in this circle so I can now guide my children with the wisdom that we share as cyberfriends!

    Hugs,
    Lea

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