I am grateful for my experience, and that is all I have to give my vampire. She showed me MY vampiric tendencies. I believe that if anyone thinks they don’t have such tendencies, they will never be free from guilt.

I am very stern with her about my standards-what I want from her. And I am very patient, as these goals may never be met through each other or perhaps in this lifetime.

I am much better at walking away from her, or even telling her what I don’t deserve, telling HER to go away. I am not inclined to ask her for help at this point in her development as a human being, as I am not so ignorant of the abuse she’s shown me in the past.

But, we are all creatures of the Universe, born to a particular share of the message. By whatever name we give to evil and good, it’s ALL a part of each one of us, and should not be placed solely on the head of another.

With these beliefs in mind, I seem to have been as toxic to her as she is to me. I’m pretty sure the only thing we are destroying in each other is our egos. But, I’m still very young (age 43).

I’ve come to the conclusion that she does this whenever she wants to feel good about her self, or her situation. The only way she can do this is to make me or my situation look worse than it is. Then when I am down or upset about her pronouncements she then seems to revel in being the one who is ‘there for me’ or the one who ‘really understands’. It isn’t to make you feel better. It is done to make *them* feel better.

Now that I understand her I can stop her from being my Toxic Friend. I can prevent her from hurting me because I know what she is doing and why she is doing it. Because I have taken her ‘power’ away I can now enjoy her friendship on my terms. As soon as she becomes too much I know I shall have to terminate the friendship, for my own sanity and well being.

These decisions are hard but in the long run you have to accept that maybe the friendship has just run its course and hanging onto it will only sour it.